Most likely to apply to your husband:Appreciation and gestures that show you care are valuable to your husband.
Frequency of physical intimacy is the most important issue for your husband to be satisfied.
Staying involved with your husbands close friends, workplace, and hobbies is a great plan.
Make time for yourself so that you will have the energy and mental/emotional balance to focus on your marriage.
Do I divorce or do I stay?
Seek professional independent guidance/counsel. Two elements are essential to heal a marriage after an affair, a remorseful spouse and the certainty that its over (even phone calls means its not over).